God's Timing aLwaYs PERFECT!.... GrOw Up tess!!

God... i haven't been good lately... i haven't been focus and was distracted by unnecessary things, worried about things that U already in control, and faithless....

but i give u thanks coz U've always been a faithful God, You listened to my prayers and crying heart and lift me up when i was almost giving up...actually when i gave up.... You've showed me again that YOU are the MAN...YOU are the BOSS... Remember last Sunday when i was really crying and U've told me that everything will be alrite and U've told me that U'll work it out according to Ur perfect time? well U did!

Last nite i had a REAL conversation wiv her and indeed U've aswered my prayer and it was just the perfect timing... I thank U for the restoration we had... Not only I was reminded of the things i'm lacking of..but it really is the time for me to make things rite and to be FULLY committed!!! be Faithfull to the small things and PAY ATTENTION to that small things first... coz again small things make a BIG differences to get the BIG things...It's about time for me to GROW UP!!!! i just hope that i can remember everything and make sure that i'll do it!!

I dunno how i'm gonna do it or where to start or am i able to start...but wiv God everything is POSSIBLE!! Nothing is too difficult for Him... and i know that i can do ALL things thru Christ who strengthen me!

i wanNa go hOmE

Someday my Redeemer shall call me to come And leave all these earth-scenes below;And take me to be with my loved ones at home—I want to be ready to go! —Huston

AMIN....

sebuah pengakuan dalam bahasaku

Aku jatuh cinta?

Sesaat kah atau untuk waktu yang cukup lama ya?
Semakin enggan aku memikirkan nya, justru semakin tergoda aku memikirkannya...
Ku coba singkirkan pikiran itu dengan kesibukkan ku, berharap dapat melupakan dan berharap lama2 persaan itu akan menghilang dengan sendirinya...
Kuyakinkan diriku bahwa di antara kami tidak akan mungkin terjadi apa2...
Tapi jika bertemu dengannya hatiku berdegup...
Aku gugup harus bersikap atau berkata apa...
Kututupi perasaan ku dengan keisengan dan gelak tawaku, ataupun dengan ke"sarkasti"kan ku
Ku pastikan keisengan itu juga kulakukan terhadap semua orang supaya tak ada yang curiga...
Tetapi disaat tak ada yang melihat... kucuri detik2 yang ada dengan memandangnya...
Kadang kudapati dia pun sedang melihat kearahku... kalau mata kami bertemu ku berikan saja senyum terjelek ku...hahaha...rasanya lucu...
Ada juga kudapati dirinya begitu serius memikirkan sesuatu... kuingat dirinya pernah berkata "I'm a dreamer"
Kira2 apa yang sedang dipikirkan nya ya?
Kadang juga kudapati dia seperti sedang melihat kearah ku, tapi kupastikan siapa yang ada di dekatku... sekali lagi kuingatkan diriku untuk tidak terlalu merasa, mungkin saja dia sedang melihat gadis cantik di sebelah ku...

Saat ini perasaan ku sedang meluap-luap...
Ingin kukatakan pada semua orang terdekatku kalau aku menemukan seseorang yang baik
Ingin kukatakan pada mereka siapa nama lelaki itu...
Ingin aku teriakkan namanya setiap hari pada siapapun yang kutemui
Tapi ku tahan niatku, karena aku harus!
Mengingat apa yang pernah terjadi dan ku tak mau melakukan kesalahan yang sama, karena dagingku berteriak, akhirnya aku mengikutin keinginannya... dan cerita cintaku berakhir dengan kesedihan... Walau sesudah nya karena Tuhanku, aku mampu berbahagia untuknya...

Wah...sekarang bukan waktunya mengingat masa lalu lagi...
Aku sudah putuskan untuk selalu melihat kedepan dan menjadikan masa laluku sebuah pelajaran berharga buatku...
Saat ini aku hanya bisa meluapkan perasaan ku lewat cerita di sebuah layar berlatarbelakang putih...
Melihat dirinya hanya pada saat aku bertemu dengannya...
Mengirim pesan hanya pada saat2 perlu saja & berterimakasih setiap saat dia menolongku...
Dan... membawanya sebagai persembahan di altar Yang Maha Kuasa...

Mungkin aku bisa melupakannya...
Mungkin dalam waktu yang tidak terlalu lama aku mampu meredamkan perasaanku...
Entah kapan, tapi kuharap bisa secepatnya...

"sebuah pengakuan dari seorang teman terdekatku"

sTanDs FoR?

"E"

Lets dReaM

heLLow...heLLoW ^_^....
i'm haPpY again NoW!!! well thank God i didn't get overwhelmed with what i feel... i just believe that God listens to my cry heart even when i couldn't tell Him in words... i was renewed again oN mOnDay... it was again a VERY busy day in the office and as usual i had to run here and there, catching people and have to wait breakfast, lunch to be taken together with dinner... and duRiNg this ACTS games month, i just have to be out eVeRy nite practicing sPoRtS or do some cHurCh stuFF... usualy i will just ReAcH hOmE arOuNd 12 midnite or few minutes be4 that.... is just TIRING!

but again, thou my boDy was exhausted but my sPiRiT was aLive! i was renewed by the things that i didn't expected at work to happenned... i met new peopLe... i make nUw fRieNds... i even had the cHanCe to inVite people to cHurCh... is GreAT!

michelle & me started a prayer grp in our college... now it'll be a daily meeting...and it was great! i've been praying this since a year ago maybe more and finally God answered my prayer... He sent the right people who has the same hunger to see life changes in our college... Everything just soOoo perfect in His time and i really experienced that... CoOL!

Well, of course there's obstacles and giants ahead of us... but we believe that PraYerS does WORK! we can't use the class room any more, so we have to use this gaZebos which were put in the middle of empty spaces... usually students will just hang out there before or after their classes... it's a bit weird though... but it wont be a BIG barrier for us to keep pressing on... Time was also our issues...thou we have a fix time every 1pm, sometimes we just have to rush or; like me, i was late most of the time... we still don't know where to go after this but what we've learnt is a full surrendering to God's authority and just do our best...

aGain... God is faithful even though most of the time we are faithless......
He is just SO COOL!!!

so people... what's your dream for your campUs?

is it ok to be sad??

hellow hellow... it's been a while since my last post...
actually i want to wriTte a LoT, but then... time and not having internet connection at home didn't aLow me to post....

but i really want to post something tonite, since i'm at my friend's house doing some research....
well.. it's about ToDaY... i dOn'T know why, after service i feeL sOo sAd! actually you should be haPpY after church... but i feel sad...

and suDdEnLy when NiTe comes, things get jUsT eveN worse... and my feelings was too...
is as bad as u thInk but it distract me and make Me bLuR!...

the Q is why? why do i sad? what was the reason ya?
i can't tell... either i can't or i don't wanna tell .... u kNow the feeLiNg of aVoiDing soMetHing that u actualLy kNow but u JuSt doN't wanna admit it coz u aRe sTubBoRn! if you do...so you KnOW where is my status nOw...

it shouLdn'T disTraCt me...
but is it ok to be sad 4 a while?
even though i'm a Christian and know that Christ is my sTrenGth and i sHouLdn'T be sad...
but can i? can share a burden wiTh someOne?
maY i LoRd? i miSs u GoD!